I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I am often plagued
by conflicting beliefs, or maybe better called conclusions. Conclusions are
formed from bits of information that you consciously or unconsciously collect
over time and add up to equal a certain truth.
I act on these truths every day.
I make decisions because of these truths, based on these truths every day.
The problem is, I have only recently concluded, truth is not
constant. My truth anyway. Sometimes I find out that the bits of
information that I based a particular conclusion on were not as I thought they were. Or maybe another bit of information turns up
and changes the equation. After all, 2 +
2 = 4. That’s how it works with two
2’s. But if you throw a 3 in there you
get a totally different answer.
That’s how it works with conclusions too. I go along fine thinking what I think and
being perfectly happy with that, knowing what I know, and knowing I’m
“right.” Then somebody comes along and
shares a fresh perspective and sure enough my equation becomes of all things –
unequal! Sometimes I rebel and defend my
conclusion and the equation that led to its birth. I love all my conclusions and I take offense
when one of them is assaulted.
Other times, and more so recently, I realize that possibly
my conclusions can co-exist with other conclusions, or maybe even retire in
order to give way to other, younger conclusions. There can be some delightful unexpected
benefits from allowing this process to take place. Like enjoying people without the fear of
potential offenses hanging over every exchange.
Like being open to learning new things and being free to question old things. Like having people enjoy you because they
don’t have to be “closed” with you but rather are allowed to be open.
Recently during a philosophical discussion a friend said to
me, “Everything is a decision.” Everything?
I pondered that for a moment and then agreed. Everything is a decision. Like listening or not listening. Like shutting down or opening up. Like relating or rebelling. People are so much more important to me than
equations or conclusions. So go ahead,
throw me a 3 or even a 5. I’ll try to
listen, open up and relate. And I’ll
leave my conclusions at home.
