What You Hear Is What You Get, And Keep

Several months ago an acquaintance told me of a tragic, horrific child abuse story that was plastered across the internet news. The things that were perpetrated against this innocent child were disgusting, unspeakable acts.
I responded by saying I did not like to hear of such things, because you can't unhear something once it enters your brain. And this was something I most definitely did not want in me. I know we need to know what's going on in the world. I know I'm not supposed to bury my proverbial "head in the sand." But sometimes it gets to be a little too much.
Consider for a moment what we are subjected to every single day with 24-7 information available. Every time we read, listen to or view a story about some terrible crime we are witnessing it in a very real sense, just like an actual physical witness. We are virtually "in the room" watching the crime happen, only we can't do anything about it. Are we voyeurs? Do we enjoy this sort of thing?
Personally, I don't want to see, hear or otherwise experience these kinds of things. When I see or hear of a child being beaten, a woman being raped or an elderly person being victimized, I get upset! Very upset! A lot of us are getting upset, even traumatized by "witnessing" dozens (or more) terrible acts against humanity every day. Problem is, none of us is getting any kind of support for this-because we're not considered real witnesses! It's not real.
For compassionate people, it's like literally carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders! Instead of just the local newspaper dishing out the bad, worse and worst behavior being acted out, it's the "net" disseminating all of the above from around the globe! I won't even mention examples of what people are doing to eachother because we all have plenty of examples inside our souls already. But it's ugly people, really ugly. And I don't know about you, but it makes me a very angry person, and very sad. Sad for the state we're finding ourselves in.
Then there's the question, are people commiting more acts of violence or are we just more aware of them because of the modern ubiquitousness of information? People will probably be arguing about this question until hell freezes over, but the fact is these things are going on, and we are all right smack in the middle of it. Like it or not. And the view from where I stand isn't pretty.

Dining "Al Fresco"

My four-year-old great-nephew, Anthony, brought this bird feeder to my house last summer and insisted that we hang it on the crab-apple tree outside the sun-room in the back yard. I have to say, I can't remember the last time I had a bird feeder. Never thought much about it. I have enjoyed seeing Hummingbirds flitting around my coral-bells many times though. So I thought, what the heck?
At Anthony's behest, he and my husband went to the garage to find something to hang the feeder with. The two of them returned with some wire, a pair of pliers and a whole lot of determination. And viola! There was now a bird feeder at the Jansen homestead!
The two of them found a spot that offered an unobstructed view from my favorite wicker chair and got it arranged just so. Of course I had to test the view-and it was perfect!
I have had more fun watching and photographing a variety of birds stopping by to feed. The best part is that I wouldn't have bothered hanging a feeder for myself!

Observations

I wish I could say that I'm shocked at the daily headlines lately, but sadly, I am not. I have been observing the changes in people's attitudes for decades now. More and more I am coming to the conclusion that our society is reaching critical levels of apathy, selfishness and complete disregard for anyone or anything outside of "self." Add to that widespread mental and physical laziness, inability to think without the crutch of technology, and broken educational and judicial systems and what do you get? A mess.
According to Merriam-Webster's, the word "society" means: (2) "a voluntary association of individuals for common ends," (3a) "an enduring and cooperating social group whose members have developed organized patterns of relationships through interaction with one another."
Likewise the word "community" means: (1a) "unified body of individuals: as (e) "a group linked by a common policy."
As far as I understand, it is impossible to have a properly functioning AND mutually beneficial society or community without the elements of common courtesy, accountability and respect for oneself and others. Those things seem to be dwindling before our eyes, making our society very dysfunctional indeed.
Accountability is of utmost importance if we are to have any semblance of safety and peace of mind. Unfortunately from the courthouse to the schoolyard and everywhere in-between, people are not held accountable for their actions. As a result we have acts of horrific violence being perpetrated by offenders who are barely out of diapers!
I wish I could offer a "national" suggestion for improvement, but I'm afraid my resolution is much more diminutive than that. It starts with calling a wrong a wrong, and if someone needs a little (or a lot) of help with that, we as a society of supposedly civilized people should help them-and stop "looking the other way."

Reconstruction

As I usually do when I'm out of the house at night, I phoned home last evening to tell my husband I was heading back from Rochester. He was happy to report that they had paved the street so I could park in front of our house. Not in my driveway mind you, but at least on the street in front.

There has been a "reconstruction" project going on on our street for over a month now, and for the last week and a half we have had to park on surrounding streets around the block. UGH! Don't get me wrong, I'm all for civic progress. Never mind the constant clouds of dust, the noise and having to trudge through ankle-deep puddles (did I mention they ripped out the sidewalks too?)

It's not the worst inconvenience in the world, unless you forget the insignificant fact that your car is parked a block away and your trunk is loaded with 13 bags of groceries, four jugs of laundry detergent and one case of bottled water!

Maybe next week they'll have the driveway level with the new curbs so I will be able to pull into it. In western New York we may have snow before then.

Won't that be fun?

House Beautiful-NOT!

I just opened and sorted through about three weeks worth of mail. I've been traveling a lot this year and had a house-guest for two weeks last month. Having company in the house was no trouble at all, it's just that I spent all my free time visiting instead of keeping up with silly things like cleaning house, opening mail (mostly bills) and the like.
For most of my adult life I have spent my waking hours striving to create, and then maintain a clean, beautiful house. Notice the word choice striving, not achieving. However the task of living itself is completely opposed to any shape or form of order in the home.
Lately I have been blessed with the company of some wonderful, long-lost friends and in order to carve out time for them I knew that something had to give. Guess what that something was? There are only so many hours in a day and it can be very tricky choosing how to spend them. When I was younger I almost had myself believing if I pushed myself hard enough I may be able to squeeze more time out of a day! I never would admit to being tired either.
Nowadays the tables have turned and I will gladly admit it. The thing I still struggle most with is knowing when to stop. I'll admit I'm tired for sure, but I'll keep going, and going, and going...until I drop usually. I now know there are only 24 hours in each day, but I don't have to like it.

Perspective

One of the great things about this country is that our collective way of life isn't one single way of life at all, but rather a vast collage of diverse landscapes for all kinds of people. What people in one area of the country may take for granted, others may be desperate for. Some look out a window and see green meadows. Some look out a window and see paved streets and sidewalks. Others still look out and see tall, brick buildings with rows of glass paned windows that the occupants within see the rest of the world through.

When I rise in the morning I descend down a flight of stairs that bring me to my living room, where I pause to look outside to see what the weather might hold for the day. I see houses across the street. Some have porches, some not, and most have flowers or shrubs in front to greet neighbors and passersby. My village is small, with a population of just over 2,000 residents. It's quiet, quaint and friendly, and I really like living here. That's my choice, and my privilege.

I like that it has the necessities such as a bank, post office, small grocery store and a few shops. I like that it's small enough to walk from end to end and everything in between, and that I feel safe doing so. In the center of town there is a park and tennis courts for recreation. There is also a stream with small waterfalls that has sidewalks alongside it. Just outside town there are farms that grow crops and pastures where dairy cows graze.

A short drive away lies a city of 225,000 people with all the restaurants, stores and recreation I could want. All kinds of cuisines are available in all price ranges to please most any palate, and cultural events abound. I'm also in the heart of the Finger Lakes so there are an abundance of outdoor activities to keep me busy, and the many area wineries aren't hard to take either!

Some people choose to live differently however. Sitting here in south central Florida while visiting a dear friend who happens to live on an orange grove and ranch, I can't help but be aware of how much bearing the weather can have on one's livelihood. Here they have had a very dry spring this year, which means the sprinkler systems have to be run in the groves, and that costs money, which cuts into profits. There was also a frost last winter, which can cut yields and affect the quality of the fruit, or destroy the crop altogether. The ponds that the livestock drink from dry up too.

Life is very different here than at home, the weather notwithstanding. Even a small store is 30 minutes away so you don't want to run out of anything important, unless of course you have plenty of gas in your vehicle and more than a few minutes to get there, get what you need and get back home. My friend not only lives on a dirt road, but the next road is dirt too. You have to go two roads over to see pavement. Not my cup of tea, but visiting is always an adventure and a refreshing change of pace.

It's beautiful too. And you seldom hear a sound around here, from neighbors that is. Because there are no neighbors. You can sleep peacefully at night and enjoy the scenery during the day. I tell my friend often that this is like "another world." It really is like another world. One where land isn't spoiled by "progress" and fences are there to keep the animals in, not keep intruders out. One where respect for people and property still exists. And I really like it here too.

Ben and Anthony

Reflection

Wow! It's been awhile since I've posted anything and I need to catch up. When I last wrote my daughter had just left to begin her junior year in college and now that year is over! The puppy is a year old and I seriously think she is afflicted with some kind of hyperactivity disorder. On the other hand I may just be too old and cranky for puppy-rearing.
Sooo much has happened over the past year that it's hard to know where to begin, but begin I shall. Fall of 2010 went by pretty uneventfully, with a pleasant Thanksgiving and family and friends to celebrate the holidays with. The new year however brought with it a tidal wave of change and upheaval, and a truckload of sorrow to go with it.
On the morning of January 1st, 2011 I got a phone call informing me that my nephew (who was also my godson) had been stabbed several times and was airlifted to a hospital 50 miles away. Doctors there had performed emergency surgery and he was probably going to be okay they said. He did survive the assault and I brought him home with me when he was released from the hospital to recover, along with his 3 year old son.
My nephew's mother and I have been dear friends for 35 years so when she flew up from Florida, she stayed with me too. We hadn't seen each other for some years, partly because of the distance between us, and partly because we've been guilty of that "there's always next year" mentality. My beloved nephew Ben ended that black hole of time that had separated his mother and I for so long. And I will forever be grateful for that.
Before my friend left to go home that week we agreed that we would never let that much time go by without getting together again. By early March I had booked a flight to Florida to visit her. I flew in on a Saturday morning and we made all kinds of plans for how we would spend the week together. We had a wonderful dinner cooked over an open fire and afterward we sat around to relax and visit.
Later that night our plans, and our lives changed in a way we never could have imagined. My dear friend got a phone call and the next thing I knew, we were on the floor as she began to utter cries and groans, the likes of which only a mother who has lost a child could even begin to understand. Her eldest child, Ben, had died that night of a drug overdose. And I was there. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen or felt.
I still miss the way he looked at me, he could see into your soul, and he trusted me. He trusted people, but most of all he loved people. He had a wonderful sense of humor, and I miss that too. I talk to his mother on the phone almost daily now.